On Waking the Staff

There are certain advantages to having humans as one’s staff. They’re simple creatures, not too smart but useful – especially for opening doors and tuna cans.

Most of all, they are easily managed by cuteness.

They do have some strange habits, however. None more so than that of staying awake all day and sleeping half the night. They’re also slow to wake, and left to themselves the lazy creatures are apt to sleep until dawn.

Of course there are many proven methods of waking them up, including loud meows, walking on them and knocking things off the dresser.

However, I find mixed stimuli to work best. The combinaton of a loud purr, jumping on the bed and flashing the bedside lights works well. While it’s difficult to control most lights with paws I find that the touch-sensitive types are easily controlled by licking. This also produces a rather pleasant tingling of one’s tongue.

Sort of a multimedia wake up call. The sort of thing that even a teenager would have trouble sleeping through.

Most of all, it’s important to be persistent. Remember, there’s no snooze bar on a cat who wants breakfast!


2 Responses to “On Waking the Staff”

  1. Honeybell Says:

    Purrs dear Gracie!

    This is great advice; however, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures and I sometimes resort to the BITE on the big toe works the best and if nothing, just attack the whole leg – claws out are the best but you must be very careful of these sleepy dopes; after you try this dangerous but effective method, run for the hills; then check back; you may have to repeat! MOL

    • hergracethecat Says:

      Excellent advice, Honeybell! I’ve got sharp claws AND teeth. If the staff are too recalcitrant, I’ll bring out the big guns. Thanks! * nose kiss *

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