Archive for the cats Category

The lesser free-moving tail-sucker

Posted in cats with tags , on May 4, 2011 by hergracethecat

It seems the staff has a new pet. Or something. I’m not sure if it’s alive; it smells more like a new plastic mousy than anything else, but it moves around by itself. Mostly in my direction!

I’ve tentatively assigned the new arrival to the same order as the roaring-monster tail-sucker thing (vacuus horribilis) that lives in the closet and comes out only with proper supervision by one of the staff, as it seems to have a similar appetite for rug fringes, dangling plant fronds and network cables.

By the way, it is this propensity that leads to the “tail-sucking” part of the name rather than direct evidence. However, I feel it safe to assume that anything with such appetites would be quite happy to munch on a cat’s greatest glory! The noted taste for network cables, often (if inexplicably) referred to by “cat” numbers is another clue the the danger.

I think I’ll provisionally dub the critter “vacuus mobilis minor”, or smaller free-moving tail-sucker, although the staff seem to call it a “Roomba”. I’m not sure what language that’s in. They’re still debating a name, with “Rosie” or “Robbi” seeming to be the top choices.

Now the roaring-monster tail-sucker thing can be annoying, especially if I’m napping or have just finished spreading catnip over most of the floor. But at least one of the staff is there holding onto it, and seems able to restrain the beast.

But this new Roomba thing rolls about the floor sniffing for prey while the staff look on like idiots – or adoring new parents, although I’m quite sure neither of them gave birth to it. And they don’t even seem to be prepared to bravely hurl their bodies between it and any endangered felines!

The one sign of felinity I see in the creature is a fondness for playing with cat toys, although with only one paw it doesn’t do a very good job of catching them. Most of them just skitter away.

But I’m not without hope. Apparently at least one feline has mastered this menace, and demonstrated in this video.

But I don’t think I’m likely to try that any time soon. Might let That Stripey Cat try and see if she emerges unshredded. ‘Hey, Stripey! See that thing? Try riding it! Don’t just sit there – Carpet Diem!’

Ta now. Time for my nap.


Sticky Paws

Posted in cats, shopping, Twitter with tags , , , on January 19, 2011 by hergracethecat

The nice folks at StickySheets (, @stickysheets) sent me some StickySheets to try out. These are, well, duh, sticky sheets used to clean pet hair and lint from fabric surfaces like furniture and clothing.

Why, one asks, would it be called furniture if it wasn’t meant to have fur on it?

Nonetheless, I dispatched the staff to try out the StickySheets. Of course, you will realize that cats only clean themselves!

First they tried a whole StickySheet on the seats in Mrs. staff’s car, which are made of a heavy textured fabric – a rather poor choice from the claw holding standpoint, I might add. It took them a bit of effort to get everything peeled, straightened out and affixed to the seat, but they managed. And it did remove all manner of debris!

Then they set about cleaning the carpet in front of the, er, ahem, litter box. That was much easier, with more room to work in and a flat surface. The StickySheet got up quite a lot of small bits of litter as well as dust and cat hair.

At this point the staff were having a lot of fun and decided to cut a sheet into smaller parts. Mrs. staff used one on an fur-studded afghan with great success. She also cleaned the couch and other furniture. The StickySheets removed a lot of fur, and the furniture seems to work just fine afterwards – although I did let @ThatStripeyCat try it out first, just to be on the safe side.

Then Mr. staff, who isn’t very good at following directions, decided to try the StickySheets on his iPad, TV screen, etc. He and the equipment all emerged unscathed, and somewhat cleaner (the equipment, that is). I can’t speak for his cleanliness.

Overall, it seems like a success. The StickySheets remove cat hair and less exalted debris. They are especially good for deeply textured fabrics like the crocheted afghan and the car seats.

Now if you will be so kind as to excuse me, I must go get busy replenishing the supply of cat hair now missing from my environment.

Disclaimer: StickySheets provided three sample sheets and asked that I blog about them. No further incentives were offered, and no constraints were mentioned – like you could constrain me!

This is catching on

Posted in cats on August 21, 2010 by hergracethecat

Ah, this blog thing is catching on. Now the staff are doing it. At least half the staff; mama now has a blog of her own. I trust this won’t interfere with her taking proper care of me! If so I’ll have to remind her about priorities.

Of course it is only natural for lesser creatures to model themselves after cats. After all, everyone must aspire to something, and there’s no higher aspiration than felinity! It is amusing to watch the staff trying to execute a proper stretch, though.

As for my aspirations, they’re quite modest. Perhaps some nice tuna for dinner. And of course a thorough petting session. Cats do know what’s important!

On Waking the Staff

Posted in cats with tags on February 7, 2010 by hergracethecat

There are certain advantages to having humans as one’s staff. They’re simple creatures, not too smart but useful – especially for opening doors and tuna cans.

Most of all, they are easily managed by cuteness.

They do have some strange habits, however. None more so than that of staying awake all day and sleeping half the night. They’re also slow to wake, and left to themselves the lazy creatures are apt to sleep until dawn.

Of course there are many proven methods of waking them up, including loud meows, walking on them and knocking things off the dresser.

However, I find mixed stimuli to work best. The combinaton of a loud purr, jumping on the bed and flashing the bedside lights works well. While it’s difficult to control most lights with paws I find that the touch-sensitive types are easily controlled by licking. This also produces a rather pleasant tingling of one’s tongue.

Sort of a multimedia wake up call. The sort of thing that even a teenager would have trouble sleeping through.

Most of all, it’s important to be persistent. Remember, there’s no snooze bar on a cat who wants breakfast!

Just say “meow”

Posted in cats with tags on February 3, 2010 by hergracethecat

We often hear the staff say something like “if only cats could talk”. Of course it’s quite presumptuous (and typically human) of them to assume that we can’t. Or would wish to, when we have better methods of communicating.

Talking, after all, just leads to argument. Consider the unwise cat who simply says “give me more food”. Quite staightforward, but the human who should be providing the food is apt to argue, saying silly things like “but your dish is half full”. 1

Which leads to “but it’s half empty, you twit” and similar arguments which generally fail to educate the human and don’t contribute to the important goal of getting more food.

It’s much better not to tax their brains.

The wiser cat just says “meow” while staring at the food dish. The staff will figure it out soon enough, and be rewarded by feeling a sense of accomplishment for doing so.

Best of all they’ll be so busy patting themselves on the back for figuring out what’s needed they won’t think of arguing about the urgent need for more food.

So just meow and stare. Repeat as needed.

Of course it’s important to occasionally meow at random, or stare at a random object (or even better, nothing at all). Must keep then guessing, after all.

1 Or “the dish is bigger than it needs to be” from the one who calls himself an engineer but has never been seen driving a train.

Another Good Thing

Posted in cats, shopping, Uncategorized on March 24, 2009 by hergracethecat

Whoa! I’ve found something else this internet thing is good for! Apparently the humans can buy stuff on it. Check these items out!

The sneaky and underhanded humans are trying to keep such an excellent idea to themselves. It seems that all of the places that have such wish lists want a “credit card number”, whatever that is. Probably some doofy human invention like doorknobs. Anyway, I don’t seem to have one, so I’ll just present my wish list here. Then the humans with the credit card numbers can do their part and buy stuff for me. Which is how it should work, after all!

So here’s my wish list (rub, rub, purr, purr).

I’m sure I’ll think of more stuff soon.

From the Paw of Her Grace

Posted in cats, Twitter on March 24, 2009 by hergracethecat

Please permit me to introduce myself, as it seems there’s nobody here to do it for me. What, no concierge?

I am, of course, a cat. And as you should (but may not) know, “cat” is a convenient acronym for Center of All Things, an excellent description of any cat!

My name is Cammie; this is not a diminutive, despite some people calling me “camoflauge”, “chamomile” or even “camshaft”. Not that I’m not well camoflauged, being a black cat.

It seems that having a blog is quite the thing to do these days, so I feel I should offer my own humble entry. Well, not too humble. I’m a cat, after all.

Please note that this has nothing whatsoever to do with @ThatStripeyCat having a blog. I’m certainly not jealous! Though I do have green eyes.

In addition, I’m known to tweet from time to time (no, I didn’t swallow a birdie).